Voldie's Dance Dance Revolution
by NO-SOOP-FOR-YOU
Summary: What happens when the Dark Lord Voldemort decides to put an ad in the Yellow Pages for Voldemort's Dance Party? Read on and find out...
1. Ad in the Yellow Pages

It was a cold misty night at the Great Hangleton graveyard. Voldemort was getting his dancing shoes on when a random Death Eater shouted towards the Dark Lord "That's too dangerous! You might pull something!"

Voldemort sighed, but put on a 'brave face'. "It's okay, I'm willing to take that risk!"

He conjured up a dance floor in the middle of the graveyard. He grabbed the Death Eater and poked the Dark Mark on his arm. "Ow…" the Death Eater whined. About thirty Death Eaters appeared out of thin air. For some reason Ron Weasley came too. "Weasley! What are you doing here?!?!?!" Voldemort exclaimed.

"I looked in the Yellow Pages and I saw an ad for _Voldemort's Dance Dance Revolution, free for Death Eaters, 10 galleons if not in inner circle, 30 galleons if Harry Potter or any of his meddling friends,"_

Voldemort shrugged, and then exclaimed "EVERYBODY DANCE!!!!!!" The "Cha-Cha Slide" suddenly blared overhead.

"Now, Weasley," Voldemort turned to face the Gryffindor. "Cough up my 30 galleons,"

Ron rummaged around in his pockets while Lucius Malfoy break danced in the middle of the dance floor. "Well Voldie," said Ron. Voldemort glared at him. "I've got 12 galleons, a lozenge, and a coupon for a buy-one-get-one-free double-chocolate hot cocoa at Madame Puddifoot's,"

Voldemort pondered the proposition for a brief moment. "Well, I suppose I can give you a discount since you didn't bring Potter," he said finally. Ron handed over the 12 galleons. "But I'll take the coupon, " he said, snatching the hot cocoa coupon from the bewildered teenager's hand.

"That wasn't part of the deal," Ron pouted, thinking about Hermione.

"Tough!" said Voldemort, thinking about Minerva McGonagall. '_I wonder if she even likes hot cocoa… Oh well, at least I'm only paying for mine,' _he thought. Ron was waving his hand obnoxiously in front of the Dark Lord's face. "Hello? Earth to Voldie?!?!?!"

Voldemort snapped out of his reverie. "Get out of here before I change my mind!"

Ron went and joined the conga line as it passed. '_Idiot, _he thought. _'I can't believe he actually fell for the leprechaun gold! He should switch to credit cards only!_


	2. A Big Nose and a Bluelight Sale

As Ron cha-cha'ed behind Mr. Crabbe, Voldemort glanced down at his hand and saw that the leprechaun gold had vanished. He stormed over to Ron and grabbed his shoulder. "You gave me fake gold, boy!" he said in a cowboyish accent.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Voldie,"

"You know very well what I'm talking about!" he exclaimed. "And stop calling me Voldie!"

"Well, _sorrry_," drawled Ron. "Voldie," he added under his breath.

Harry and Hermione suddenly apparated into the graveyard. Hermione landed quite gracefully in the middle of the dance floor, but Harry accidentally landed piggyback on Lucius Malfoy. Out of instinct, he stuck his wand up Malfoy's nose.

"OW!!!! Get OFF me, Potter!" he screamed. His nose started to swell like a huge, red, water balloon. Harry started frantically wacking at it with a stick. When the stick didn't work, he grabbed Hermione's wand and started shouting random spells while he resumed his wacking.

"ALOHOMORA! WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA! ACCIO!" he yelled in a crazed voice. "FLIPPENDO!"

"Hey, that spell isn't canon!" exclaimed Hermione. "They only use Flippendo in the video game!"

"I can say Flippendo if I want to!" Harry retorted. "It is _my_ video game!"

"Hey, I was in it too!" reminded Voldemort. "After all, you wouldn't have your own video game if it wasn't for me!"

"Yeah, you killing my parents is a small price to pay for my own video game!"

"But think of all the good times we had…" Voldemort said thoughtfully.

"Well, let's think," Harry replied sarcastically. "How about that time when I was about 11, I think I recall something along the lines of, oh I don't know, _fighting to the death over a shiny rock_!"

"Hey, it wasn't just a shiny rock," Voldemort pouted. "It was that nice red color-"

"Will you two SHUT UP!"

"I know how to decide this!" Voldemort exclaimed. He conjured up a laptop, Googled Ebay, and ordered a Playstation 2 from a 43 year-old guy who lives in his sister's basement.

Harry suddenly noticed that the word 'VOLDEMORT' was spelled out on the lid of his laptop in rhinestones.

"Uh, Voldie?" asked Harry. "What's with the rhinestones?"

Voldemort mumbed something about a bluelight special at Kmart on 'BLING IT ON!', and a cardboard box suddenly appeared on top of Malfoy's face. His nose was still the size of a grapefruit.

"Ah, now we can finally decide this conflict once and for all!" Voldemort announced.


End file.
